On Being Daddy’s Girl

Posted by: lindadominique on: February 16, 2009

• In: life musings
• 8 Comments

I wrote this back in 2005:

I’ve always wanted to be a daddy’s girl, you know the untouchable kind dressed in ruffles whose daddy dotes on them, gives them whatever their heart even has an inkling to ask for, parades them around, showing them off and making them feel like royalty? In my case, it just never quite worked out that way. I watch and overhear women talk about how important their father has been in their lives and although I don’t find myself envying that, there is still a nagging void that I can’t help but notice because I didn’t have that. There is a desire deep within me (if I’m willing to be honest) to have had someone protecting me from the wolves out there who would one day come to prey on his daughter’s innocence.

I’ve always watched movies and television shows and smiled at the way the fathers gave the poor helpless soul who was smitten with his daughter the third degree when he came to the house to pick her up for a date or the prom. I never went to my prom but it makes me wonder to myself how many of the men I dated would have treated me differently if they thought that there was someone big and burly behind the door or sitting on the sofa that they’d have to answer to if they did something wrong—or hurt me. Unfortunately I was never given the opportunity to experience that, and while my father himself may have been a wolf, they say that you seek a man who is just like your father and to my credit, yes, I have had many.

So, having never known my father or seen him, what I was seeking must have been innate because the bad boys that meant me no good from the word “hello” is all that I craved as a teen and through my young adult life; the more dangerous the relationship or situation, the more volatile or challenging, the more I pursued it and drew myself towards its flame. Sadly, such is life, I’ve had to learn many lessons like this the hard way. With age comes wisdom though, or at least it should. So, that’s where I am right now, older and wise enough to know that you can’t really miss a daddy you never had, but you can definitely make certain that history doesn’t repeat itself.

Advertisements