::: I’m Still Princess Dominique | Tilted Tiara and All | Version 2009 :::

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Have you ever heard the saying that there’s nothing new under the sun? Well there isn’t. The sad fact that a woman has a man and the former woman finds it necessary to stalk and live vicariously through the new woman and pretend she’s still with the man because she can browse the blog and read where they eat, what movies they watch or view their house plans is a joke. The saddest thing is a woman who doesn’t know when it’s over. I mean completely and utterly over. When you know the rules going into the arrangement don’t act brand new after the fact. Trying to get under another woman’s skin and show her how familiar you are with her man because you’ve been with him is so juvenile that it should come with fruit rolls ups and a juice box. I mean if he’s over you why is it so hard to get over him? And for all the blog thugs out there, the internet I find is a place where “some” people type things that they’d never say to someone’s face. I’ve seen it happen. I’ve personally had people say things about me and become MUTE to my face. Bottom line is that people say things to hurt other people’s feelings because THEY are hurt. What they don’t realize however is that you’ll keep hurting and never heal if you keep dragging out the fact that it’s over and he’s over you. The sun has set on that fairytale. Move on so you can be happy. They already have.

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Why should the women be the ones to have all the fun? If you haven’t heard of TheManRegistry.com you’re missing out. The site is chock full of articles, awesome “man” gifts and a section aptly titled Groom 101 tha provides a checklist of things you don’t want to forget with the upcoming nuptials. You can also sign up for a gift registry to receive something besides a toaster/blender/wafflemaker combo thingy–especially if it doesn’t make up the bed, wash the dishes or walk the dog. I mean, seriously. The registry is full of things (besides you) that will make him swoon. From deluxe grills and paraphenalia from their favorite sports team, your man will be like a kid in a candy store. If you’re an engaged girl who wants to make her man feel special about the upcoming wedding or cure his wedding planning blues TheManRegistry.com is the premiere place for men to let loose  a little. If you’d like to pick out the cake, decor and table settings in peace–no problemo–send him over to the site. He’ll love it and you will too. Log on to TheManRegistry.com today to get started.

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I wrote this back in 2005:

I’ve always wanted to be a daddy’s girl, you know the untouchable kind dressed in ruffles whose daddy dotes on them, gives them whatever their heart even has an inkling to ask for, parades them around, showing them off and making them feel like royalty? In my case, it just never quite worked out that way. I watch and overhear women talk about how important their father has been in their lives and although I don’t find myself envying that, there is still a nagging void that I can’t help but notice because I didn’t have that. There is a desire deep within me (if I’m willing to be honest) to have had someone protecting me from the wolves out there who would one day come to prey on his daughter’s innocence.

I’ve always watched movies and television shows and smiled at the way the fathers gave the poor helpless soul who was smitten with his daughter the third degree when he came to the house to pick her up for a date or the prom. I never went to my prom but it makes me wonder to myself how many of the men I dated would have treated me differently if they thought that there was someone big and burly behind the door or sitting on the sofa that they’d have to answer to if they did something wrong—or hurt me. Unfortunately I was never given the opportunity to experience that, and while my father himself may have been a wolf, they say that you seek a man who is just like your father and to my credit, yes, I have had many.

So, having never known my father or seen him, what I was seeking must have been innate because the bad boys that meant me no good from the word “hello” is all that I craved as a teen and through my young adult life; the more dangerous the relationship or situation, the more volatile or challenging, the more I pursued it and drew myself towards its flame. Sadly, such is life, I’ve had to learn many lessons like this the hard way. With age comes wisdom though, or at least it should. So, that’s where I am right now, older and wise enough to know that you can’t really miss a daddy you never had, but you can definitely make certain that history doesn’t repeat itself.

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In 2005 when I started my second and more permanent blog this was the first post:

There is nothing on earth that compares to being free. I mean, free from bondage, blatant prejudices, labels and the prying eyes of society as they attempt to examine you, pick you apart, stick their hand down inside and rummage around trying to find out what makes you tick.  Someone always wants to know what makes you who you are. Sometimes its driven by simple curiosity, other times its jealousy and envy or just a desire to want to emulate you and sift through the ingredients that make up you to measure your authenticity. At any rate, there are many women I admire that appear to have it all together on the outside. Wanting to have it all together too, I went out in search of self; in search of me, since I was told that it was the best place to start if I wanted to have it all together.

On this journey I was forced to delve into the dark recesses of my being and uncover incidents and secrets that I’ve never told anyone. In examining myself I realized that my Moma was right and had been all along; it’s what’s on the inside that matters more than outer appearances. When the curtains of your life are peeled back, its how deeply you are rooted and grounded in what you believe and how you keep it all together that matters. I’ve always imagined that its got to be a very satisfying feeling for people to be able to make choices rather than just dealing with whatever life throws their way or having the choices make them. That’s definitely part of having it all together.

I’ve learned from the mistakes of others though, and I’ve also learned to become that girl—someone who consciously, not passively, makes choices. I’ve really never been concerned with being popular or well-liked because having my craft be a true expression of me and not just something that was manipulated by agents, editors or managers and manufactured for sales and quota purposes has always been of the utmost importance to me—and its an honor to be in a position where you don’t have to go along for the ride just to say you have a ride. That’s where I am right now, independently being me behind the wheel of my own vehicle.

My point though, is that peace is underrated, so is joy, and bliss—there was honestly a time when I didn’t know if I had what it took to maintain them all. At times like those when I was unsure, I had to steal away and heal me, repair me and make sure that in my helping others that at the end of the day I still had something left—to give me. My goal in life now is to be surrounded with peace, joy and bliss. I’m determined that no matter what I achieve, I’m not letting them get away for anything in the world. Sure I love the Dior shoes, the Gucci shades, the Tiffany & Company diamonds as well as the gifts and trinkets that others bless me with, but I swear that if those flashy designer things didn’t come into my life to reside with the peace, joy and bliss that already exists there—they would never, ever have a home in me.

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I wrote The Plural Thing: Spiritually Preparing for Your Soul Mate in 2003 and revised it in 2007. When I started the online forum ThePluralThing.com there weren’t many sites that I had come across that were assisting people with marriage and boosting marriages with information on how to do things from a spiritual perspective. Now of course there are tons of sites, although not all “spiritual” in nature, but it got me to thinking God must really want marriages to last. He’s giving us all of these tools, ministries, radio shows and newsletters and if we don’t get it right then we just don’t want to put in the effort and do it and if that’s the case we should have stayed single.

With that said, I heard about this movie and have a few friends who have seen it. From what I heard it was *POWERFUL* and if it’s going to help marriages then I was all for it. So, I ordered it along with a copy of a book my husband really wanted The Exemplary Husband and I was pretty much stalking the mailman until it finally came yesterday. He’s lucky I didn’t see him leave it *lol* Seriously it was 4 days overdue and I didn’t want a refund, I wanted my DVD!

If you haven’t seen the FIREPROOF my comments may SPOIL IT FOR YOU. Come back and read this after you’ve seen it, if you plan on seeing it. Here are my thoughts.

I loved this movie and I thank God for a company that could write such a compelling story. I adored every character, every situation including the gentle way that Caleb was led to Christ. Even the arguments were realistic in that couples who have had disagreements can see themselves in these two. The thing that was so powerful to me is the point at which people “say” they want to throw in the towel before even searching themselves to see if a part of them still wants the marriage–and then praying to be strong enough to work towards salvaging it. Even in working towards it some people like the main character do it half-heartedly until they see the person they want slipping through their fingers. The movie definitely taught me that sometimes you have to give love without expecting to immediately get something back. It was a powerful revelation of how God loves us.

There were some lessons that were evident to me from the onset ie. Dr. Gavin trying to worm his way into Catherine’s life knowing that he himself was married and Caleb expecting Catherine to do everything around the house because she was the “woman”. Equally foolish was the Catherine who never even thought to ask the doctor if he was married, but just reveled in the attention that he was giving her. I believe the hurt in marriage is what people who are contemplating leaving are trying to avoid, but if you have two honest people who will come together and vow to stick it out and do better it can make all the difference in the world.

If your relationship isn’t worth 20 bucks then I’m a loss for what else to say. If you’re not in a relationship, buy it anyway. I mean edification is the key.

Buy Fireproof the movie on DVD!

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One dreamed of becoming somebody.

Another remained awake and became.

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I normally write poems and haikus and other creative variations of writing from a “love” perspective. Here I’ve toyed with love and other subjects too using Haiku. They are all untitled. I don’t have to say that they’re copyrighted do I?

1.
september winds taunt
inciting summer wallflowers
maple leaves dance

2.
heaven muffles the cynics
mocking my grace laced shoes
mercy still waters dreams

3.
tangy tangelos and apricots
hot grass between bare feet
tastes like wedded bliss

4.
barrage of sugary kisses
from greedy birthday cake eater
famished lips crave repeat

5.
hopscotch and pigtails
giggling balloons take flight
dirty men patrol schoolyards

6.
voiceless minorities shiver
wrapped in newsprint untruths
blindfolded justice was peeking

I'm Linda "Princess Dominique" Grosvenor and I'm is a published author and have been writing online for over 15 years. I'm a former student of the Fashion Institute of Technology. I've been called a savvy cocktail of fashion and relationship advice and I've written for and contributed to articles for publications such as Honey, Modern Bride and MORE Magazine. This website will have more of a relationship slant and will be updated rather infrequently. With that said, enjoy!

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