::: I’m Still Princess Dominique | Tilted Tiara and All | Version 2009 :::

Archive for the ‘life musings’ Category

fdy031

I wrote this back in 2005:

I’ve always wanted to be a daddy’s girl, you know the untouchable kind dressed in ruffles whose daddy dotes on them, gives them whatever their heart even has an inkling to ask for, parades them around, showing them off and making them feel like royalty? In my case, it just never quite worked out that way. I watch and overhear women talk about how important their father has been in their lives and although I don’t find myself envying that, there is still a nagging void that I can’t help but notice because I didn’t have that. There is a desire deep within me (if I’m willing to be honest) to have had someone protecting me from the wolves out there who would one day come to prey on his daughter’s innocence.

I’ve always watched movies and television shows and smiled at the way the fathers gave the poor helpless soul who was smitten with his daughter the third degree when he came to the house to pick her up for a date or the prom. I never went to my prom but it makes me wonder to myself how many of the men I dated would have treated me differently if they thought that there was someone big and burly behind the door or sitting on the sofa that they’d have to answer to if they did something wrong—or hurt me. Unfortunately I was never given the opportunity to experience that, and while my father himself may have been a wolf, they say that you seek a man who is just like your father and to my credit, yes, I have had many.

So, having never known my father or seen him, what I was seeking must have been innate because the bad boys that meant me no good from the word “hello” is all that I craved as a teen and through my young adult life; the more dangerous the relationship or situation, the more volatile or challenging, the more I pursued it and drew myself towards its flame. Sadly, such is life, I’ve had to learn many lessons like this the hard way. With age comes wisdom though, or at least it should. So, that’s where I am right now, older and wise enough to know that you can’t really miss a daddy you never had, but you can definitely make certain that history doesn’t repeat itself.

blue-sky-sailboat

In 2005 when I started my second and more permanent blog this was the first post:

There is nothing on earth that compares to being free. I mean, free from bondage, blatant prejudices, labels and the prying eyes of society as they attempt to examine you, pick you apart, stick their hand down inside and rummage around trying to find out what makes you tick.  Someone always wants to know what makes you who you are. Sometimes its driven by simple curiosity, other times its jealousy and envy or just a desire to want to emulate you and sift through the ingredients that make up you to measure your authenticity. At any rate, there are many women I admire that appear to have it all together on the outside. Wanting to have it all together too, I went out in search of self; in search of me, since I was told that it was the best place to start if I wanted to have it all together.

On this journey I was forced to delve into the dark recesses of my being and uncover incidents and secrets that I’ve never told anyone. In examining myself I realized that my Moma was right and had been all along; it’s what’s on the inside that matters more than outer appearances. When the curtains of your life are peeled back, its how deeply you are rooted and grounded in what you believe and how you keep it all together that matters. I’ve always imagined that its got to be a very satisfying feeling for people to be able to make choices rather than just dealing with whatever life throws their way or having the choices make them. That’s definitely part of having it all together.

I’ve learned from the mistakes of others though, and I’ve also learned to become that girl—someone who consciously, not passively, makes choices. I’ve really never been concerned with being popular or well-liked because having my craft be a true expression of me and not just something that was manipulated by agents, editors or managers and manufactured for sales and quota purposes has always been of the utmost importance to me—and its an honor to be in a position where you don’t have to go along for the ride just to say you have a ride. That’s where I am right now, independently being me behind the wheel of my own vehicle.

My point though, is that peace is underrated, so is joy, and bliss—there was honestly a time when I didn’t know if I had what it took to maintain them all. At times like those when I was unsure, I had to steal away and heal me, repair me and make sure that in my helping others that at the end of the day I still had something left—to give me. My goal in life now is to be surrounded with peace, joy and bliss. I’m determined that no matter what I achieve, I’m not letting them get away for anything in the world. Sure I love the Dior shoes, the Gucci shades, the Tiffany & Company diamonds as well as the gifts and trinkets that others bless me with, but I swear that if those flashy designer things didn’t come into my life to reside with the peace, joy and bliss that already exists there—they would never, ever have a home in me.

fortune_cookie

One dreamed of becoming somebody.

Another remained awake and became.

hudson

eva_marcille_monarchy_5

I’ve learned that people don’t even need a reason to not like you. They don’t. They can look at the way you smile, the way your legs look in a pair of heels, the rhythm you use when you tap your pen against your temple when you’re thinking, the way others respond to you, or the way that you blow your coffee before you take the first sip and instantly think, “oh, she thinks she’s cute”. I think I’m what? Cute? For blowing my coffee? People like that aren’t a trip they’re a vacation and if they leave and never come back that will be too soon for me. When I was younger I used to worry about whatever it was that I supposedly did to “said people” to make them not like me. I would examine myself and try to discover if I was unconsciously acting a certain way, or pursing my lips in an “I’m better than you,” fashion, but the fact is that people who are negative and are dead set on finding something wrong with you, will. That’s their life purpose; to pick at other people because they’re too empty to find enjoyment in themselves or their purposeless lives.

I’ve also observed or been in the midst of women whispering, “unh, here she comes,” and then coo a sweet ‘good morning’ when she passes as if they weren’t digging their nails in her back seconds before. People like this I realize, also love to see you grovel and plead with them to tell them what it is you’ve supposedly done to make them hate you so much. They get off on it, which is why their purpose is to make you think that there’s something wrong with “you” so that they can continuously get off on “you” trying to rectify the situation day after day after day, month after month and year after year. And trust, when I learned that that was their motive, I simply stopped caring about people who sip on hate’s teats.

You will not get your thrills off of me and watch me dance to some imaginary tune you’re playing just to be friends with you, sweetie. My purpose is far beyond that. You want entertainment? Rock of Love Bus, Sober House, Tool Academy, True Beauty and America’s Next Top Model, heck pick one, ’cause I aint it. I’m not talking about friends here, mind you. We all have our ups and downs with those, but rather I’m talking about people who don’t know a thing about you, who probably deep down on the inside would like nothing more than to get to know you better, learn from you, but instead let their shortcomings and insecurities get in the way of them not only never having that chance, but they let their issues get in the way and blind them so completely that they end up living yet never actually having a life of their own either. To that I say, too bad, so sad, goodbye. I would normally file this thought under women; not that men don’t come with their issues too, but definitely not as much as the female persuasion that’s for sure–but I don’t have a “women” category so “life musings” will have to do.

41

Maybe because it’s happened in the past I look at everything as a possible stalking. Such was my resistence to Twitter. Well that and the fact that I’m a private person with the exception of things I do solely to get the word out about my books and other projects. I mean, I signed up on Facebook with no problem, Myspace too but then when it came to Twitter, the whole “follow me” thing just conjured images of me walking down a dark desolate street and hearing footsteps behind me. I pray I don’t live to regret it. But just in case. Find me on Twitter here. I refuse to say “follow me”. The “would be” stalker can probaby use that in a court of law claiming I asked for it.

bakerycookie

I don’t know where I’ve been but I’m just hearing about this and wanted to share. I am at a loss for word and am 10 seconds from getting on New Jersey transit and make my way to this bakery. I’m so not a passive person. This here is exactly why people need salvation!

“At at a time when any decent baker should have been selling racially harmonious black and white cookies by the truckload, one Greenwich Village bakery popular with celebrities and shows like Sex and the City has outraged neighbors by selling a “Drunken Negro Face” cookie in, um, “honor” of President Obama. A shocked customer tells My Fox NY that Ted Kefalinos, proprietor of Lafayette French Pastry, asked her, “Would you like some drunken negro heads to go with your coffee? They’re in honor of our new president. He’s following in the same path of Abraham Lincoln; he will get his.” Later, her friend stopped by the bakery and said Kefalinos corrected her about the name of the cookies—they’re actually drunken “N-word” cookies. She says the backwards baker then repeated the dark suggestion that, like Lincoln, President Obama “will get what’s coming to him.”

Read the rest of the story and the updates at The Gothamist.com.


I'm Linda "Princess Dominique" Grosvenor and I'm is a published author and have been writing online for over 15 years. I'm a former student of the Fashion Institute of Technology. I've been called a savvy cocktail of fashion and relationship advice and I've written for and contributed to articles for publications such as Honey, Modern Bride and MORE Magazine. This website will have more of a relationship slant and will be updated rather infrequently. With that said, enjoy!

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